Theology by the Slice: On Discernment

Last Wednesday we heard a talk by Fr. Edward Vodoklys, S.J., a member of the Holy Cross Jesuit Community and a senior lecturer in the Classics Department. Fr. Vodoklys is an alumnus of Holy Cross (class of 1972); he earned his doctorate in 1980 from Harvard University, entered the Society of Jesus in 1983, and was ordained a priest in 1991. His presentation on Wednesday was about discernment, both about the process in general and his own experience. His talk also included an interactive case study.

Father began by defining what discernment is and what it is not. Discernment is not necessarily making of a moral judgement; rather, it is a process that requires time, reflection and prayer. We need to be attentive to what's inside of us, especially with respect to our motives, desires and drives. Discernment can concern anything from a day-to-day decision to a permanent, life-long choice. St. Ignatius provides us with the Discernment of Spirits, which asks us to look at our motives and discern whether a good or evil spirit is prompting them. We also must decide whether we will follow through with responding to something once its motive is discovered (and truly responding within a larger context of the decision's implications, not merely reacting). Finally, we must reflect on how the actions of a decision turn out.

In discernment, we begin by looking at what motives are driving us, then at what action we take and finally reflect on the end result. This process often takes patience and time, and usually our motives are complex and manifold. We might think of all the students who enter Holy Cross as premed and then leave the program, discovering that the program was not for them. We must also remember that doors open and close at different times, and while something may not work in the present, it can become a possibility later on.

Much of what Father is describing comes from St. Ignatius, who spent much time reflecting while he was recovering from a cannon ball shot. He found that he was being driven by spirits of consolation and desolation. while it may seem to us that one is good and the other bad (the one leading to comfort, joy and peace and the other to despair and doubt), in fact both can come from and bring us to God, or move us away from Him.

Father outlined several scenarios explicating the interaction between good spirits, bad spirits, consolation and desolation. A good spirit, (that is, the Holy Spirit) can prompt us to do good, act well and come up with a good result (consolation). A bad spirit (that is, the world, the flesh and/or the devil) can move us to sin, despair and doubt (desolation). Yet, the relationship can be more complex than this. If one is leading a bad life, for example, the Holy Spirit can inspire desolation from the wrong one has done, which leads to repentance and reform. Or, the evil spirit can introduce desolation to one leading a good life to sow doubt and despair.

We must remember that the Holy Spirit  works openly in the light, and brings love, trust and growth. The evil spirit, however, works in deception.If we are leading a good life and are met with desolation, we  must remember our goals and ends, and to persevere in prayer and active charity so as to get back on track. If, however, we find that our spiritual life is dormant, it could be the evil spirit or it could be an invitation to pause and reflect. Father was reminded of an ekphrasis, a device in classical literature when the action in a narrative pauses while a particular object is described in great detail. For example, in the middle of a battle the narrator can stop and describe a warrior's shield in great detail - thus, the action stops while the motives and reasons for the battle are examined.

Father then recounted to us the story of how he made the decision to become a Jesuit. Father comes form a family of four (one sister), and sixteen cousins; of these, fourteen have worked in education. It seemed, then, that education was Father's clear path, but the journey there was not without its rough patches. He worked at Ohio State University for a time, but was let go because of a drop in funding. He then took an intensive business training program at Harvard and found work doing the books in his other's hospital gift shop, but still felt lost and confused.

Eventually, he went on a retreat offered by the Paulist Center  that staffed the Newman center at OSU. The retreat was led by a Dominican Sister of the Sick Poor who was also originally from Boston. During the retreat that was held over Pentecost Sunday, he recalled two incidents where he was asked if he had ever considered becoming a priest. He was surprised, because in sixteen years of Catholic education (eight in grammar school, eight in high school and college) he had never been asked about having a vocation. Yet, there had been other indications before this. When he had been getting his doctorate at Harvard, he had lived next to a man who was the son of a Methodist minister, who had asked him if he had considered becoming a priest. Father had never been asked before, but had the ready excuse that his Cerebral Palsy would prevent him from doing priestly duties.

Later, when he was at Ohio, he was asked again. He had a friend who was the son of a Lutheran minister who became ill. When visiting him, he asked Father about the priesthood. A Paulist priest at Ohio asked him about it as well. Overall, father was a bit slow on the uptake, but eventually realized that he was being called to the priesthood. At his ordination, one of his aunts told him that she knew he had always wanted to be a priest. Father emphasized the need to pay attention to things that happen to us in life, because they can bear important fruit.

In the last part of his talk, Father led us through a case study where a couple had to make a decision about where to move for a job. He emphasized the need to consider the motives and needs of all the people involved in the case study, and how those needs interact and overlap.

We thank Fr. Vodoklys for his incredibly helpful description about the discernment process and for sharing the story of his own discernment.